Trials

People often wonder why God lets good people go through bad trials. I don't have all the answers but I would like to share my experience with a very real, very recent trial. Craig and I have been excited about having children and raising a family together even since before we got married. One of the reasons I married Craig was because I knew he would be an excellent father. We started trying to get pregnant just a few months after we got married. We tried and tried and tried. We waited and waited and waited. At first we weren't too worried, couples hardly ever get pregnant in the first month or two. But then the months started adding up. After about a year of trying to get pregnant we decided that maybe we should go see a doctor.
I was absolutely heartbroken. I was devastated. I didn't understand why we weren't being blessed with a baby. I didn't understand what God was trying to teach me. I wasn't opening my heart to His plan and I was in pain. I can't even describe the emotions that I felt during that time. I was completely overwhelmed. It wasn't until I turned to Heavenly Father, got on my knees, opened my scriptures, and opened my heart that I started to understand. Craig helped me turn to the Savior and the Atonement and helped me know how to unload my burden onto Christ's shoulders. Christ has offered to take my burden, He has already suffered for my pain, now it is up to me to turn to Him and let Him take that burden from me.
I didn't immediately understand everything or immediately feel alright about the whole situation. But I did immediately feel love. I felt Heavenly Father's love for me more deeply than I ever had before. I turned to Him many, many times. I stopped asking "Why me?" and started asking "What do I need to learn from this?". I learned so much and even though this trial was the hardest thing I've ever gone through, I wouldn't trade it. I needed it to become who God wants me to be.
We recently were able to get pregnant and we couldn't be more excited. Many prayers have been offered on our behalf and I know that God has heard all of them. He was hearing them the whole time, it just wasn't time to answer "yes" yet. The answer for two years was "wait".
Trials are not given to us because God likes to see us struggle. They are given to us because God wants to see us become the best person we can and He knows that trials can make us that person. Trials are meant to turn us towards Him and help us remember the suffering of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Trials are meant to help us and build us.
I'm grateful for this trial that I went through. It was incredibly hard, but it was worth it.